This week in the life of “Carrington as Creation”, Carrie learns many things such as her spiritual gifts, lessons on control and praise, and the realities of life that she could not see as a child.
1 Corinthians 13:11 “when I was a child I spoke as a child, I understood as a child; but when I became a [woman] I put away childish things.”
In Bible 1, we are currently learning the ways biblical exegesis can manifest itself within the ministry and how those as bearers of the Word. Our responsibility is to become virtuous people who interpret scripture with intellectual, spiritual, and social virtue that reads the Bible for its intersectionality as a sacred text meant for a holy audience. I struggled with the notion that virtuous people interpret scripture well, giving the connotations that a person can be virtuous prior to their reading of scripture. We were given a set of principles that virtuous people exhibit which I agree upon; however, the tension I sit in is who deems a person virtuous enough to interpret scripture? It seems that if the Holy Spirit is the One that sanctifies the Bible as sacred text then the only Spirit should also be the One that plays a role in deciding a person worthy to interpret and teach the scripture for others. We received a list of qualifications that virtuous people exemplify, but the grey area in those requirements seem so earthly which for me limits the Holy Spirit and the validity of the text as holy.
This week I’ve had to sit in the second/ first tension of not knowing anything about my car or the bill for its repair and last week did not leave me in a comfortable place. As I spoke with my friend Caitlinn Betteridge, she ended up affirming me in my spiritual gift in exhortation. As I struggled with feeling helpless, taken advantage of, and mistreated with the Toyota service providers; I tried what I knew and had grown up doing, praying, trying to let go of the situation and “give it to God,” and listening to Gospel music for the prophetic message that “God will take care of me no matter what” and “No weapon formed against me shall prosper;” the message would not stay when I would think about the situation or money or anything. So, I called my mommy and told her I was having trouble continuing to trust when this situation just seems so full of evil, why am I being so mistreated and how I could not see getting myself out of it. She interrupted me to remind and walk me through the pains of this past year; moving to Seattle to be an intern at a camp, ALL the times I was struggling for money making way less than I ever have and had minimal means to compensate, beginning/ being in graduate school, looking for an apartment/ home, needing a job to pay for rent, school, and life once camp was over, and so on.
I had been avoiding processing the last 15 months of my life because so much damage happened, so much changed, but I also grew into a new person through those trials. I avoided processing my life because I thought that the “healing” would hurt, but there was joy and comfort in remembering the ALL the times and instances that God brought me through, how He is in control and it’s a good thing He is because His reach is so powerful. My mother reminded me that I am just a creation of God but the one who can form me out of dust did not form me in a desert, but in a perfect garden of love! My mother reminded me what we discuss in theology ethics, that creation was and is meant to be good and in Jesus, ALL things have been reconciled to Him, through Him. In reading Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Creation and Fall,
- In the beginning God created from formless chaos We want to understand our reality (control our reality); “we want to fully understand God, His reasoning’s, etc; you cannot and may not.
In this I was able to contextualize myself in the bigger picture that is God’s story and my role as a character, not the main character but a smaller character, a friend to the main character. I was brought to surrender my childish belief that I had control over my life and when things happened then I turned to God and say why is this happening when the truth is that I was never in control and that is a good thing. That God is in control and God loves me and is here, good and bad. By His love I am able to do and be this great person I believe myself to be, but ONLY in His context am I able.
SPIRITUAL GIFT: exhortation ( thanks Buhnessa)
CONTROLLER: God (check)
PRAISE: always brush, always. Or else God gives you something to praise as He reminds you who’s in charge. (kiss the ring)
LIFE LESSON: “Life is not that just getting tough, it always has been tough; you’re just now realizing all it took to make it look good! You used to eat casseroles made of ramen noodles, canned veggies, meat (maybe) ,topple with cheese because we were between checks. But y’all never went without. ” -Vanessa S.W.
My parents worked hard to not let my brother and I see the struggle. But now we live it (the struggle) and ask them what the hell they were thinking/ why did’t they prepare us for this!? A bought lesson is better than a taught lesson.