I experienced something Sunday that I can understand to be nothing but the Holy Spirit lighting a fame in my soul that has been dim for a while now. Life has been tough thinking about Holiday plans, old friends coming back up, turning 24 (tomorrow), family reconciliation, work, and school all just swarming; I have been preoccupied worrying and keeping the schedule that I have not been I praise and worship with God.
Sunday night, I went to church at City Church University District, now known as ChurchHome UD campus. The message put me as ease as Pastor Judah spoke from John 14:21-23, Jesus is comforting the Disciples by telling them to take heart and keep the commandments. The disciples did not find comfort in being told that they needed to keep the 600 laws of their traditions and the Father will love him. The message touched my soul because I resonated with the disciples, feeling down because the task at hand did not seem like something I could get myself out or through- life is getting out of hand and I cannot complete the task- it is not encouraging to be given another task when you can’t see the forest from the trees.
What brought me back was the beautiful sweet reminder of Jesus saying, “I know, and I am here for you. I know you cannot keep the commandments, I know you cannot love God enough. I know. That is why I am here, and you can love him because He loved you first. You can keep the commandments as best you can because I am here to help you.” Hearing that hope allowed me to better understand the role of Jesus.
I have taken Theo-Ethics 2, which has helped me to understand the person, work, and trinity of Jesus Christ. The way I grew up, God was the One we praised, He was the divine orchestrator and Jesus did not seem to be the emphasis in sermons. In college that seemed to be the MAIN emphasis of Christianity, which I believed in Jesus, but worshipping and praising Him did not seem like a religious practice I could fully get behind. But Sunday, things cliqued a notch further. Theo-Ethics is helping to fully shape my understanding of the Holy Trinity as a full place to put my belief. In Theo- Ethics 2 I learned about the WHY of Jesus Christ, the How of God, and the What for me.
This lesson Sunday allowed me to better understand WHY Jesus was so important to the fullness of the Trinity.
This lesson Sunday allowed me to worship like never before. I told a friend over coffee this week that Sunday I put Jesus on the throne in my life and it feels good, right. During the musical section of church, I stepped aside and lifted my hands and sang “What a Beautiful Name It Is” with my voice and my heart. As I understood the fullness of Christ Jesus as a human being who felt emotions, felt abandoned, tired, alone, sick, probably overwhelmed and hopeless, yet also fully God who has the power to change the circumstances, illnesses, and redeem all the brokenness, to substitute for a sinner, to willfully suffer, to turn his face from Himself/ Son so that I can have the opportunity to live in eternity.
Hmmm… praise and worship came from my soul Sunday as Jesus was put on the throne with God in the right, holistic way; and I was no longer confined to my struggle but had a hope and an understanding of freedom from what help me. Sunday was a powerful day. I feel as if I was saved all over again. I would not have had that experience if God did not orchestrate for me to come to SPS and learn the TRUTH about His being. If I was not sure before, I am now that even if I do not work in a church ministry or official ecclesial ministry, my journey was/ is worth it to feel that deeply in my soul.